Tears

Had a really hard morning. It’s beautiful and sunny here, the kind of day where I would normally hop on my (super cool, electric, adaptive) bike and ride to work, feeling the breeze on my skin and enjoying the sounds and sights of my neighbourhood.

Instead I woke up, didn’t get more than 3 steps out of bed without pain, saw my kids off on their bikes, and headed to my local coffee shop. I struggled to carry my coffee and bun, wallet, keys and walking stick. I dropped the keys and had to ask a stranger to pick them up for me. Got myself sorted out, took one step, and was hit with searing pain. Hobbled to my car, and the tears started to flow. I’m too young, it’s not fair, it’s not fair on my kids, why is this happening, I will do anything to make it stop.

Instead of proceeding to work, I turned around and went home. Sat in my driveway and cried while I ate the bun and drank the coffee. Went inside and got a heat pack. Now the painkillers I took when I woke up are kicking in. Wipe the tears, straighten my dress, reapply lipstick, harden up and carry on.

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One thought on “Tears

  1. Oh Natalie. I’m so sorry you are suffering. You are right, you are too young, and it’s not fair to anyone. I really hope your upcoming surgery changes things for the better! You are doing amazingly well!💜💜

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